Why is it so hard .....

Why is it so hard to ask for forgiveness? 

I had to go to a close friend and ask for her forgiveness today, something I haven't made a routine in my life. I have always tried to hide any jealousy I might have towards others, and recently God has been opening my eyes and heart to the satisfaction of complete contentment, but ....
There is always a but, Right?

Well, this dear friend, she has done nothing to provoke this envy in me, but I was still struggling.  Although I did seek some advice I still felt as if I should clear any resentment that was beginning to stew.

I want to live building relationships with people....I mean deep meaningful relationships.  I have done the surface smiles before and have nothing to show for it.  I am not proud of it, but it has always been very easy to walk away from relationships for me because I never put the time or energy into them.

Well, not anymore today was a first, where I have asked humbly for forgiveness to save a friendship.  I love my friend and hope she understands how important she is to me.