When our children are taught what it means to live as a Christian, typically they receive a list of what to do and what not to do. Philosopher Dallas Willard coined a phrase that sums up the way too many of us think of faith, calling it the "gospel of sin management". History has brought us to the point where the Christian message is thought to be essentially concerned with only how to deal with sin: with wrong doing or wrong being and its effects. Remember kids are not learning this concept in a vacuum. They are learning this from us, from the gospel we believe, talk about, and most of all, model to them everyday. Our kids are mirrors of our attitudes and beliefs.
Kids need to discover what it means to trust Christ. At the heart of Sticky Faith is a faith trusts in God and understands that obedience is a response to that trust in EVERYTHING. As we guide our kids to understand Sticky Faith, every decision, every thought, every action comes down to one simple question: In whom do I place my trust?
The Sticky Gospel reminds us that our focus is to trust, and God promises to work within us at every stage of process- by strengthening our trust, by giving us peace and patience as we wait for our lives to be transformed and by actually changing us from the inside out.
The theme of focusing first on internal transformation instead of external behavior is echoed by Paul in Philippians 3:1-14. Paul calls his circumcision and his zealous pursuit of righteousness based on law "garbage" compared with knowing Christ. In Philippians 3:12, Paul write that he will "press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me"
The outcome of a faith that is more concerned with working than trusting, or doing rather than freely living, is dangerous to young disciples. ( A performance-based Christianity can last only so long). When Kids reach the awareness that they do not have the power or interest to keep the faith treadmill going, they will put their faith aside, this happens through failure, pain, insecurity, or inner wrestling with who is owner of their faith.
To help our kids discover and grab hold of a sustainable long-term, and vibrant Sticky Faith, we must stay true to the words of Jesus and heed the council of Paul: trust in the one the Father has sent, and live convinced that the only that counts is faith expressing itself through love.
In some of us, trusting this process in our kids can be hard. We tend to want outcomes that are immediate and measurable. When our kids don't seem to get what we think they ought to know or do or be, we can easily fall into a "because I told you to, that's why!" mentality.
Our jobs as parents throughout this process is twofold:
* First we help our kids learn to trust God and create the kind of environment where they are able to explore faith and trust while practicing their freedom to respond in love.
* Second, we model an unconditional, nonjudgmental, and ever-embracing love in which our kids can do nothing that jeopardizes or even lessens that love.
LET'S ADMIT THIS IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE.........
So the all-important question, then that puts wheels on the Biblical call to trust God to change us from the inside out is, "What does it mean to trust God?" or "How do we put this into practice every day?"
Three ways to help foster this kind of faith:
-Teach your kids that obedience is our response to trusting God
-Frame all family discussions and activities as opportunities to know and trust Christ
*For many Family devotions are genuine, sincere, and enjoyable times to
focus on God together, especially when kids are younger. As kids get
older, family devotions can sometimes become exercises that are more
about getting through the ritual than a way to encourage our kids to
talk about God as a family. When kids reach middle school or so, the
MOST PRODUCTIVE kinds of family devotions are often those that are less
rigid and scheduled, and more organic and even spontaneous.
*Default with compassion, whatever the offense your child is not doing this to get at you. Even in the most egregious of situations, remember that they are, at the core, suffering, and they need you to care. As Jesus cares for us in all we go through, so we too are dispensers of His grace.
*Don't Panic, there are very few issues you will face as parents that are irredeemable, even the BIGGIES. Regardless of the circumstance, becoming overly distraught or emotional, especially within earshot of your child, only heightens your child's sense of dread, fear and shame. Remember Paul's words in Philippians 4:6-7
What is the biggest obstacle to helping your child understand that the primary call of the Christian is to trust Christ? Describe where this is a difficult concept for you, and where it lines up with what you already believe and practice.
As stated obedience is the response to trust, why is it bettter to begin with trust and than respond through obedeince? Is it ever good to go the other direction: obey first and hope that trust follows?
How do you see your child's faith in light of this overview? Where do you see them growing in what it means to trust Christ, and where do you see them living out of the do's and don'ts of Christianity?
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